Banned from zoo.
Again?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
