We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize