Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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