I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
