if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
