I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
