God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's never too late to be topless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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