he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
