Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
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We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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