he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
