the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
