I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
