HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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