can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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