you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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