Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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