well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
