But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
