You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize