I'm really into asian looking animals
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
