Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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