I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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