Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
