The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
vagina is talking i cant
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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