I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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