I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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