i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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