nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I love having hate sex.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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