..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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