i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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