If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize