butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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