I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I party with great urgency now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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