super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
