so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
