Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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