I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize