Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
