in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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