So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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