Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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