I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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