keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
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I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This toilet bowl is my home.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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