I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My vagina is officially offended.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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