does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
