Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i've created a new STD.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize