apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
