it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
