It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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