Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
