so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
