His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
