sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
