FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
