Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
