ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize