I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
