fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Your penis caused this!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
