Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
