? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
