i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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