Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
