pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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