Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I didn't shave. On purpose
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
