Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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