he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
