Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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